Happy World Bipolar Day to my fellow survivors. Check out my memoir, (In)Sane, for relatable stories about my struggles with Bipolar.
I’ve made a concerted effort in the last few years to be more transparent about my life. Sometimes, this makes people uncomfortable, because they often don’t know how to respond or help me in that moment. Nonetheless, I try my best not to soften my realities, or hide my hardships. In many ways, I think it has improved my life.
However, the biggest change has come with my writing. Up until about 2023, my writing was virtually hidden. I posted once in a while on a janky website that was shared from time to time on Facebook. My biggest fan - my mom. The point is that this wasn’t some successful blog I was running - it was just enough of a sign of being a writer.
Then, I released my memoir, (In)Sane, and it all changed. I knew going into this book that I had to commit. I couldn’t be scared of judgment, or let it prevent me from expressing my truest thoughts and vulnerabilities. I had to find peace with the idea that, regardless of my intentions or messaging, there will always be people who will judge me, and paint me only in the light of my mental illness. This is a difficult reality, but one that I justified by considering the benefits of this level of candor about my more difficult moments. I knew that other people related, and that they might find solace in my memories, because they had shared them. This came to fruition.
Many times, people will tell me that they have just finished reading my book, and that it was so relatable to either their personal journey, or that of a loved one. Everyone, it seems, has someone with mental illness close to them. Although many strides have been made in terms of acceptance and open discussion, there certainly remains a sense of unease when the topic arises. There are also many examples of ignorance, when mental illness is scoffed at, and reduced to a weakness of the mind. I have to tell you - this truly distresses me.
People will often ask me follow-up questions when they have read my story. How have you been since the hospital? Do you still take all of those medications? Is it under control?
I often find these questions to be a bit embarrassing to answer, since they are deeply personal, and many of the people I have encountered don’t know me directly. Yet, I give my best attempt at an accurate portrayal of what it’s like just being me.
I don’t plan on stopping, either. Each new story about how my experiences have brought comfort and understanding to someone affirms my choice to share my journey with Bipolar.
I have many exciting things coming this year, and I want to explore new ways to connect with people. Stay tuned.
